Heart month is almost over and I’ve been thinking. Life with heart disease is no joke.

When I look in the mirror every day, I see the 8 inch scar that reminds me I’m living with heart disease. And that my battle required serious intervention early in my life. It also reminds me I’m alive and medically speaking, doctors have told me that could have very easily not been the case. But I tell them, meet my God.

God and I have had a few moments these past few months. As my heart grew weary and my spirit weak. That my friends is why I’ve been so absent from the ol blog.

I’ve taken a break from the blog the past couple months for my own healing. We had a major setback with my heart in the last month that has now been fixed. For right now I’m not ready to share that part of my story. With these setbacks, come the emotional stress and my time right now has to be devoted to healing those wounds.

So for now, I’ll be signing off the blog for a little while, so that I can devote 100% of my time to my physical and mental health. I hope to return in the coming months to update you and share more of my story.

For now, if I may, I leave you buy asking for continued prayers for the following:

1. For success keeping a new heart medication down. I’m still trying to learn how to manage My gastroparesis diagnosis and we need to keep a new heart medication down or I could end up back in the hospital and in need of cardiac intervention. My Gods healing, after, getting sick 5+ times a day for 4 months, I’ve been able to keep food down for the past two weeks, which means meds stayed down. That means my body was able to absorb the meds my heart desperately needs for the past two weeks. We keep praying this continues. This is a big prayer request.

2. For the grace to work through all the mental wounds of the past and present. Multiple hospitalizations, a cancer diagnosis, continued heart problems are in themselves a trauma and my counselor and I are working through untangling the web of lies, past wounds, fears, hopes, wishes for the future.

3. For my team of doctors. That God would continue to guide them with a spirit of wisdom and counsel. That their decisions would help me not only survive but also thrive.

4. For some important appointments coming up that will shape some decisions about how we move forward in my overall care.

5. For mom and I to continue to have the grace we need to fight these battles together. She’s been a hell of a trooper these past 4 months.