I never want someone’s pity. But I have always been grateful for prayers. Ive also become really grateful for compassion over the past two years. 

Last night I was up at 4am dealing with medication side effects and then I slept until 3:00pm. I’m grateful my job is being so supportive and my priest/boss has told me not to stress and just take my time getting better. From what you ask?…

…. a 3 week-26 day stay at John’s Hopkins….

But….this doggy sure is happy we are home. I woke up to this yesterday….yes. That was the view from my eyes. She was probs less than 6 inches away from my face.  #ohfinley

1.Thanks to another “ST Elevation and depression” on my ekg…and cardiac Cath #10 in the books at 11pm. It was one of those hospital tv moments, where all the sudden the room is filled with 4 nurses and two doctors and the HAT (heart attack team) being called and calling in the on call Cath team. Not being given an option to go to the Cath lab, but we are going to the Cath lab kind of moments…good news is that there were no new blockages, but definitely evidence of ischemia (inadequate flow of blood to the heart), in the Right Coronary Artery.

2. After a two day stay in the Cardiovcascular ICU, it was a move up to the Progressive Cardiac Care Unit and the never ending saga of trying to control my heart rate, BP, and chest pain. I respond to meds for a few months, but doctors can’t figure out why after a few months, they just stop being effective.

3. After that excitement, it was recognized that I was in Heart Failure again (3rd time in 4 months). So we are following up with the John Hopkin’s Heart Failure Bridge Clinic to hopefully get a new treatment pla .

4. We got creative this go a round and cardio handed me over to neurology for a procedure and we did a sympathectomy in my T2 area. These nerves are known to be connected with the nerves in the chest, so they basically burn the nerves with alcohol via injection, in the hopes it will control pain. It takes a few days-weeks to see results, but the doctors were thrilled that I went to needing pain meds every 3-4 hours to going two days before I asked for pain meds maybe once or twice and we gained better control of my heart rate. Cardio has consulted with neuro, to see what other options we have and we are moving forward with that.

5. We also had the excitement of a collapsed lung, the inability to walk down the hallway, those few “iffy days on oxygen” in the words of the doctor and a few moments that are just tooo good to share on the world wide web.

Thanks to our stay, our Mother’s day didn’t come with a card this year for my mom.

• It came with nerves of steel as they wheeled me off to the Cath Lab in record speed.
• It came with the couch that came with sheets and a pillow and became a makeshift bed for three weeks.
• It came with the ringing of the rosary beads as they wheeled be off for each procedure or test
• It came with the smuggled cups of chipped ice and gatorade, because if I drank any more water I was going to lose my mind..
• It came with busting me off the unit after our nurse got my Doctor’s clearance to go down to the gift shop, food court, outside garden. Only I could make a wheelchair, pj pants, hospital gown and an oxygen tank look so good.
• It came with the help of good friends and faithful visitors who made the drive to make a visit, bring clean clothes and other necessities as the visit wore on.

This was our hardest stay to date since my surgery. The visits get longer and the doctors back up and punt just one step further, thinking and hoping that their plans will work. We have made the shift of diagnosis to pain management. We know that the pain is cardiac, thanks to my microvascular disease, so my doctors are working diligently to manage the pain. Together the team is coordinating behind the scenes and across specialities to come up with a plan. So for now we wait and we pray.

We did have a few funny moments that my mom has relayed that I have no recollection of. I developed a tolerance to morphine so they switched pain meds which apparently made me talk in my sleep or have no recollection of what I was saying..such as…

1. Directing a choir concert in my sleep, hand directions and all.
2. Telling my mom she just needed to give me space
3. Telling someone to put one baby in the crib and the other in the bassinet
4. Yelling “yo, Father Farrell” and pointing across the room
5. Providing my name and birthdate
6. Discussing fixing the xerox machine with my coworkers 

Apparently the new med made me funny or mean. Oops. The nurses would look at my mom who would just have to say that I was talking in my sleep. 

Thank you to the framily (friends who are like family) who made the drive to bring us clean clothes, computers, max the “puppy” and just came to cheer our spirits. 

We also got to have a visit from the puppy therapy dog, who was soooo cute. It was my first time for a visit. And he gets to sit in your bed and you get to love on him for a little while. It came on a rough day and I was missing my own puppy so we enjoyed the visit. Please disregard all disaster in our humble abode for 3 weeks. 

The visit was post Cath, pre heart failure diagnosis but I was in a lot of pain. I was either reading my kindle, sleeping or watching HGTV or sending mom off on secret missions for more chipped ice or a snack. So we loooooooooved a visit from a 4 legged friend. 

We also got permission for me to go down for Sunday Mass. It was filled with nurses, patients and family members. There was something so special to receive our Lord, the divine physician and be treated by top physicians. 

Other than that our visit was the status quo of regular vitals, 4 am labs and weight checks. We had daily visits each morning from a resident who checked in and reported back to the team and then rounded with the Attending and other residents a few hours later. I was treated by the chief of inpatient cardiology and the chief of cardiology, who were phenomenal. 

I don’t share this all for your pity, but for your prayers. Your compassion carries us both and we are both appreciative.

 I had a lot of time to reflect in the hospital as many others on the wing, came and went home during my 3 weeks. Each of us is battling a  battle with heart disease and everyone in the hospital is there fighting their own battle. No one wants pity for their situation, just understanding and support. That’s the bond among heart patients, there’s an understanding compassion what a simple day can hold. 

I’ve seen a lot of questions asking what to expect in the hospital, tips for surviving a long stay and tips for a Cath, pre and post Cath. So I’ll be switching it up on the Blog over the next week to write more towards fellow patients and answer those questions. Feel free to read anyways, you never know what words of wisdom I’ll share.