Happy birthday to me! 28 years young. Mom and I decided that at midnight last night we were declaring year 27 done, gone, out of here. It certainly wasn’t my favorite year.

To honor the 28th year, I am writing to someone who I tremendously…

An open letter to mom…

Dear Mom, stinky, stinky Pete, motor, mother, 

We did it. We made it to today. 

I am guessing that 28 years ago as you awaited my arrival (well planned on a Monday morning…haha), you never foresaw the road that would be ahead. But you have handled so much with so much grace and faith. You have loved tremendously, served joyfully, forgiven justly, supported faithfully and mothered gracefully. 

The past year has weathered us both. We have grown weary, tired, frustrated and yet at each turn you spoke hope, when none seemed possible. You fought ferociously for me as you watched me suffer- battles for more tests/answers, you fought spiritually for me in prayer, as you watched me walk through the valleys of suffering, you listened and guided as you watched me battle emotions and learn to live with PTSD. 

I’ve watched you suffer this past year as you watched me suffer. The fear in your eyes, each time they rolled me away, that the past would repeat itself, a burden you carry and only few could ever really understand. I saw your tired eyes, after the sleepless nights and the late night visits to the ER. I saw the desire in your eyes as you begged and pleaded with the Lord just to take an ounce of the pain I was carrying. But while suffer you did, you never once threw in the towel, gave up or surrendered. You continued to fight, to love and to serve. 

This past year, we both wondered at times what the future would hold. With diagnosis after diagnosis, we processed it together. We came to peace together with the end of future dreams, what life would look like now. 

I think back on what life must have been like for you at 7:59 on May 23, 28 years ago, and one thing I know for sure. The mother that first held me in her arms, who in that moment promised to love, guide and fight for me, is the same one who has loved me, guided me and fought for me the past 28 years. 

Here’s to you mom. We did it. We made it to today. Couldn’t have done it without you. 

Love, Stinky Jr.