The past few weeks have been so frustrating. The flu, pain at a level 12/10 and being disappointed and frustrated with my medical team of doctors. 

When I was in with the flu, Pulmonology pointed at cardiology and vice versa. It was like a game of “tag-not it”. I did tell one of them in a pain-killer induced state to get their acts together and their stories straight… Oops! Sorry to whichever doctor that was. I never once doubted my team until now and that is a very hard place to be. I know my body and something isn’t right. 

There is now talk of different procedures and repeating my right heart cath. I don’t even know how I feel about that. I don’t have the greatest confidence in my team right now. It seems that they only push so far and then they give up. I just want to scream, listen to me. Stop reading your darn charts and listen to the patient in front of you…. Oh…and keep going until you find the answer for all this pain. We already know I don’t follow a textbook so maybe they should start thinking outside the box. 

When I was at Church this weekend, I asked the Lord to send me a reminder of a gift he has given along the way and to even be able to see it amongst the pain. And God has certainly reminded me of a gift that he’s provided along the way. It comes in the form of a friend named Carina.

I met Carina the first time I went to the cardiologists office and she was my Medical Assistant. She did my EKG and roomed me…and has for all my follow up visits. As in I don’t let anyone else room me. 

When you see your doctor so often, that means you see the MA just as often. So over the past year, I’ve built a friendship with Carina. She visits my room when I’m in the hospital, we text back and fourth and most of all she’s always treated me with compassion. She’s been saddened with me when things weren’t going right, she got excited when things were going well and she’s been a source of support though it all. 

Not many people understand things like nitro doses, my medication list or my medical history as well as my Dr and Carina. It’s been so comforting to have someone to reach out to in the moments of fear, of pain, of frustration. She’s encouraged me, laughed with me, challenged me, prayed for me and been such a good friend. She’s just one of those people when you meet them that you know you will be blessed to have them in your life. So keep rockin’ it Carina.